Insomnia’s Voice Through Art- “Looking up at the Crotch of the Beast”

While attempting to organize my art space, I came across this left handed drawing I did some time ago.  I couldn’t sleep that night and woke around 4:00am.  I remember knowing that I needed to get up. I was upset but I wasn’t sure what it was exactly that was disturbing me. I sat at my art table and this is the image that spread before me. Yes, there it was. Something had happened at work that really bothered me. What a perfect metaphor for how this felt to me. I was standing looking straight at the crotch of the beast! My work as an art therapist is wondrous. It is amazingly profound and I am so thankful for the opportunity to sit with women and children while they experience their process in therapy. But this work is heavy, the stories and traumatic experiences can leave their footprints on my experience if I am not careful. No one is perfect in this and I know that a good therapist is someone who continually monitors and manages this on a daily basis.

I especially love this green beast. What he communicates to me is how easy one can feel kicked by someone’s pain and suffering or how one can have the sense that the telling of stories and feelings have so much power that they can emotionally knock someone down. I love this gallant pink cat with the chest hair and the wings who is flying into this boot to buffer the blow with ease, due to his protective red wings.  And this little version of me standing there bravely to really take a look at what this beast is. The boundaries around me and the way out are as striking to me as the body language in this figure. As a therapist I stay present with everything a client brings and that is both emotionally brave and profoundly healing to people. There really is so much here for me to contemplate.  This drawing was relevant then and is relevant now. I am so thankful to have this language of art to aid in my personal growth.

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